There are many ways in which we can find ourselves doing things that go against our values or goals. Some are social, like saying something regrettable to a spouse. Others are moral, like when we find ourselves acting in ways we find abhorrent in others. Hopefully, I’ll eventually touch on this topic in a variety of ways, but for now, I want to focus on a more basic, day-to-day behavior manifestation.
The reason I’m writing about this now is that I noticed I’ve started looking forward to drinking tea. Building on my complicated childhood relationship with Diet Coke, I recently noticed a major accomplishment in being able to use tea to fill the Diet Coke-shaped void in my day. Even as recently as a couple years ago people would recommend I drink tea or coffee as a way to substitute my caffeine fix. Of course, I couldn’t believe that anything could even compare to the amazing, futuristic liquid that is Diet Coke, but also, of course, I was wrong.
As has happened to me many times before, and will happen to me many more times to come, I underestimated how much my love of something was trained and developed over years of exposure. As my childhood friends have tried to convince me of since forever, I can now appreciate that Diet Coke is pretty much objectively disgusting. But, to me, it is the most wonderful joyful nectar of the gods.
That being the case, the idea that I could ever find enough pleasure in tea to help resist Diet Coke seemed ridiculous. However, there was a small part of me wise enough to know that if I just stuck with it I would eventually be able to switch from a drink that rots my bones, somehow adds weight (even when it has zero calories), is overpriced, and has many other problems, to a drink that improves digestion, is relatively cheap, and is potentially beneficial in a number of other ways.
So, the good news is just the other day I noticed I had a small rebound in pleasure neurotransmitters when I went from denying myself Diet Coke to the idea of having tea as a substitute. I have finally reached the point where my subconscious brain has come to appreciate the pleasure of tea. I look forward to it in a way similar to Diet Coke. When I drink tea I still don’t particularly like the taste, but I don’t have to like the taste to have it fire off all those happy brain chemicals. Similar to many substances and activities, I don’t have to have a conscious moment of pleasure to build up the positive association and inevitable attraction. My body can tell tea does stuff that it wants more of.
The brain’s ability to draw us toward something for reasons that aren’t clear is one of the most maddening and also important drivers of behavior. If we had to consciously decide to do everything we need to do, we wouldn’t have time for anything else, and potentially not even achieve basic functionality.
The impulse to take the next bite of dinner, text a friend, or hug a loved one is wired in our subconscious. Strangely, as much as we enjoy those things, they might not happen if we had to actually remember to do them each time. Luckily we’re really starting to appreciate the power of our mind’s autopilot and understand why we do what we do.